Intruder in Custody

While minding my own business this morning...

I came upon an intruder.

I was tidying up the kitchen counter next to my purse and there he was...

Seriously?

Seriously???

I could have screamed and thrown a butcher knife at it.

But I would never do that.

So I put a glad container over him to contain him and slid him off the kitchen counter onto the lid.

Then we had a little chat.

 Dear lizard, Stay the HELL out of my house. Every time you or one of your friends gets caught in my

  screened in porch... I lovingly catch you and relocate you to the garden. Just because I've been leaving my doors open because there isn't any humidity... Does NOT give you the green light to cruise through my house and make yourself at home.

If I catch you in my house again... I might not be so nice. 

Please stay outside in the woods where you belong.

Love me.

And then I walked him outside and put him in a tree. I think he got the message loud and clear.